Way Too Many Hits Lately

Here and the other place have been getting an extraordinary large number of hits compared to the past few months… in fact maybe even the last year. 

I do not wish to be presumptuous as to why.. but IF it is a sign of needing some reassurances as to your worth and value from a stranger after all this year.. then I can only reiterate what I have been saying for these past 4 year or so..


I have met people from all over he globe. Rich and Poor; Powerful and Powerless; Good and Bad; Men and women and across the spectrum of humanity. Physically beautiful and those who lack in that aesthetic characteristic. I have met talented people and people with god and bad intentions. Introverts and extroverts.

People do not seem to realize how much of themselves they shoe ion what they post and even in what they do not post . For example you have become politically neutral in your posts.. but you used to at least give an inkling of your moral and ethical fabric and even your outrage but when you launched the production side of your business you stepped back from that.  Your neutrality gave you cover from those who would judge and as such might have even kept business from you. so it was a pragmatic conscious action.

Your expansion from on the floor to behind the scenes has been interesting. More responsibility in the new position . But that Sagittarius spirit seems to crave the adventure and need to fly and soar above to be that free spirit in your pursuits.. and then the need for financial security takes root and hold you to the ground. How difficult that must be for you. but at least you have the ability to have some creativity in a business you have familiarity with. 

I know .. everyone thinks I am still that stalker or weirdo.. and that is fine as I don’t have to deal with them. At least you should know by now that I have no bad intentions.. not fantasy of whatever. I am simply a dad and businessman who has his share of issues and personal troubles just as everyone else does in this world. Especially family back home problems. which while I would love to share them with you.. well this is not a good forum to do so. 

AS I said last week.. I never stopped believing in you.. or seeing you for something more than those peopled from all walks of life that I have encountered. Few people in this world have impressed me.. but you have always had that “Je ne sais quoi ” that set you apart. that special something something that is indescribable in mere words…. Your ability to engage people in and out of work, your artistic flair, your shoe fetish…lol…  your introspective posts on life and the world around you that you so rarely make anymore.. but is still inside of you.

The hurt and pain that you suffered in relationships in various areas of life.  you are not just an individual but a unique configuration of intricacies that have evolved into a special human being. Someone that I recognize as having an ability to do so much with your life as to affect a huge number of people in this world… IF you allow yourself to explore. So many great artists have been “Starving” artists on their way to greatness. ..  you have that greatness inside of you.. I have seen it from afar.. I trust my instincts.. I BELIEVE in YOU.. even if you sometimes doubt yourself.. I believe in you Ms Joanna Marie… and I want to see you become great.. even if you never speak to me… I want you to reach your potential in life. because I am a selfish bastard who wants to be right…  no .. not really… because I want a better world… and I want you to help make this world better for people like my autistic daughter. one that is more accepting and caring and helping.. and THAT dear Joey is a piece of you I have seen in the past when you posted freely about the world. I have been lucky indeed to have seen that before you hid it from the world. 

When this one particular business FINALLY makes it.. my net worth will be considerably more than I can handle.. and way to much to leave to my family or any individual.. I have been identifying people to help in this world that I believe can make this world a better place.. you know 2 of them.  I fully intend to do this sooner rather than later as I want to live a long time and see the fruits of my efforts. These people along with yourself will be given gifts that have 1 string attached… do for others ion the future and help them in some small way to achieve their dream and make this world a better place… and the best part of this “gift” is.. you and the others will never see me or have to deal with me in any way.. and THAT kiddo is how I will finally prove to you and them that I see your value on this world and want you all to be what you can be without having to join the army.

I currently still help some people now.. but not to the extent I want. one women I truly admire is from an african country I know well.. she has worked hard and is almost done her bachelors and has a desire to become a doctor and return to her country to work there. she is someone I wish you could med as she is very conservative and down to dearth and I accidentally made her cry the other day as she was getting ready to leave to go back to school. It was all over a card I wrote a note in telling her something similar to what I tell you.. that she has a great destiny and I want to see her fulfill it. she is the kind of woman every man would be proud to take home to meet his mother.. she is truly remarkable.  and so are you Joey!

 I had one “hero: in my life… and as I told you a long time ago I have had few true loves… and many responsibilities. I do NOT idolize people.. I in fact do not like many people as there are so many phonies in this world.. meaning not only intellectually dishonest but emotionally dishonest and morally and ethically bankrupt. I am gregarious .. but I love returning to my cave with my baby to take care of. 

The difference between Morals and Ethics is easily summed up as “A Ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife.. whereas a moral man would not. ” We need more people with Morals… not in the old-fashioned morals but in right from wrong and good from bad and the dignity of the human spirit and the values of integrity. 

I wish I could say you are a hero of mine.. or at least a valued friend.. but you are not and never will be.. but that does not mean that I cannot be interested in a good way in your success in life as you have those ethics and mortals… and the feistiness to tell people when they are wrong. and so I want in some small way to make sure you have that opportunity to do that.. so I can have someone give you 20 dollars to get started. well in a year or so .. probably much more.. but I am not near that time yet.. you will see my name in the news when that time comes.. as I said before I loved my anonymity and I have to give it up to do what I want to do… having a dream comes with a cost that is not in dollars but in compromises it takes to achieve that dream in my lifetime.. just please .. if you get this never say anything to anybody about where it came from nor acknowledge me… I want you to grow Jo.. that is all… but then again.. I may be wearing thigh high boots and a mini skirt on main street here at 3 am looking to make enough to pay my light bill.. or not.. 

Maybe it has not been you in these visits.. maybe it was a coincidence.. but if it wa you and you wanted to know if I still believed in you and thought you have exceptional value.. than by this post you should know I do… and if it was not you.. and you eventually see this.. the you will still know anyway.. and I just continue to look like some fool.. and that is OK as long as YOU know someone believes in you outside your fam.. unconditionally. 

Be well kiddo.. no MEME’s tonight.. just my words for whatever they are worth.

You may think I abandoned you.. I never did…

I still visit placed to see what your up to. you seem to be doing OK.. and time with fam is good for you as the last year or so has had many twists and turns.. but know that I never abandoned you.. I still believe in you.. and look forward to that big turn in your life to do the things I know you are capable of… Always in your corner .

she is now and forever a princess

You and your friends think I am a bit strange.. .. I know I am in many ways… this next Meme is more about me but it could also describe YOU 

my soul is from elsewhere


and this one… well you know the power of self confidence.. and sometimes someone need to remind you  you are someone very very special… NEVER let anyone take that from you.. NEVER!!

when you doubt you can fly You will stop being able to


way to much going on in my life. some good, some bad, some very sad.. and some extremely exciting. My greatest concern has been anonymity in life… that will all change in the next year .. maybe even sooner. I will just have to accept I cannot do the great things I want in my life and be the Enigma I want to be. You seem to thrive in the limelight.. I prefer smaller intimate crowds of less than  10.  My TED talk later in the year will not let that happen in my way… nor will my inventive nature in my projects changing the world. I reluctantly will submit myself to that when the time comes. I am better on stage as a character in a play where I keep my persona to myself… but to achieve great things I must do what I have tried my whole life to avoid… notoriety.. hopefully it will fade. 




I Thought You Were Back On The Upswing For a While… Then Zippo, Nada, Nothing Again

I can only imagine the “tumult”, the changes in your life, both personal and professional, that must have caused the past year or so to weigh heavily on you. Up one day, Down the next. Two steps forward and wondering how many back there might be. but you are still loved by many.. even though your haters have increased I am sure.

AS your professional status changes there are some that do not understand the business side of things. and others that still think, you should devote more time to other things than you found the time for.

AS we get older friends shed and change. We find ourselves with fewer “acquaintances” that we once thought of as friends. and find those we thought as friends seek favoritism without regard to how you must now conduct your life. Some people never grow up and some never want to. 

Your need to be a free spirit and your need for financial stability can sometimes conflict. And while family will support you no matter what direction you take, you may feel compelled to reconsider your direction in life. While that is good for many of us.. it could cause you severe consternation and conflict in your desires. Do not fear Joey… if you keep going you will find the right niche at the right time. 

I have serious interest in women in this world.. but my interest you has been more of what I saw of your spirit… now this year I worry your spirit is weighed down. I think you limit yourself in options .. and maybe that is because of money… but you can persevere and find that new inspiration soon if you just refuse to stop believing in yourself . 

People hate.. that is the way the world is.. and the world is a terrible place right now. but it has been that way for some times and you were never this .. well let me just say “Quiet” 

Reinvent yourself and stop thinking of the past as your best days for aI assure you Jo.. they are not.. your heart. your spirit and your mind has inspiration for many people if they can just see it as I have from this distance. 

“#TBT” is for people who believe their best days are behind them… I will always believe that your best days are in front of you… but you have to seize them.. no one can give this dream to you… you have to ignore others sometimes and take what you want in life and shed those that do not support you 100%. 

You have a bright future Joey.. one that has more potential than most.. I Believe in you.. and have since I realized who you were… I hope one day you understand what I see and believe me when I say t is there and you can be so much more IF you want. 

You can be a Boss.. but you are more of a leader… than a boss in my mind… strike out and people will follow…

I hope you are physically well and that this cloud you may be under is just temporary shade to rest under…. 

put the treats in the bowl

What is life Anton Chekhov

And Growing up does not mean losing the Child in you… that must ALWAYS STAY 

It Has Been Good To See You Back In Swing

Yes Joey it has been good to see your more socially active….. Not that you are as prolific as you had been in the past, but the frequency of your various postings seem to indicate you are happier and more involved in the world again…. and as always I am happy for you.

I have been busy… my projects take a lot of time. My health is much improved with the medications. Hate taking pills but the pain in my chest has diminished considerably… and my energies much increased.

Working with a small architectural firm in designing the ideal residential complex for adults with higher mental function special needs like my daughter special needs, the Batteries for Electric cars  (they will need 8 in total) that will weigh less than 15 pounds each and can  be swapped for fully charged ones at one of the same distribution centers that the Hydrogen canisters will be set up at… so it is good i have energy again.. and seeing you back swinging at that pinata called life is exciting to watch.

Hope you’re around for our PR Event when we set up the first 1000 locations .

Be well kiddo. Hope all is good in your life.

SOO Happy to See More of You

If that means you have broken your slump that I could not be more happy for you. You have so much to accomplish in your life It is disappointing to see you down and frustrating not to be able to reach out to you.. despite having your telephone number I just never wanted to cross that .. what was it someone said a long time ago.. oh yes.. that invisible line. 

I have been pretty ill recently… I lay in my bed thinking of all the things I want to say to the world to stop the stupidity I see.. to try to reverse the hatred in this country  to bring this country to a more “Civil” union… and then my chest hurts more and I am unable to get out of bed to write or make videos or audio or ANYTHING to make this world better. 

I want to present a fully developed business plan to Apple and to Google showing them how while Elon Musk has great ideas, he is too soon in trying to implement his wonderful concepts. I can compare it to those who built HUGE Fiber optic networks in the 90’s only to have the price collapse because of over capacity and better multiplexing equipment meaning allowing more data to be moved over smaller bandwidth. Those bankruptcies allowed others to buy the fiber at literally pennies on the dollar.. and today there is not enough bandwidth. Elon is headed the same direction on several fronts  and the buying opportunity will be tremendous for various parts of his enterprise.  My Hydrogen refueling is the thing I hope they adopt as it can bring 50 B or more in tax credits and 25B PLUS in profits with a very very very small capital investment,  but I just don’t have the energy to eat let alone work .

On a personal note I believe you know of something I did last weekend. I hope you did not disparage me.. but it may have been too easy .. and that is a bit painful for me. I thought it was a nice gesture to that person… but if it was diminished because of my history with this blog I am saddened to my core. I hope I am wrong.. but my gut tells me otherwise. While I want to encourage and inspire you.. I really could have helped that person get to another level in a future life via academia or professional career. they have that level of intelligence that is not stimulated much in their current position despite their efforts at growing they need an intellectual support structure, and whatever you thoughts about me are.. that is probably one of my greatest strengths that I have proven around the world. 

I get very frustrated lately… I believe I have so much to offer.. to give.. so many ideas and concepts that I never communicated.. so many like experiences that so few have or will ever have in their life. and even writing this has taken too much out of me. It was a few years ago I was told I had an enlarged heart.. left ventricle.. and it panicked me.. and then I just ignored it.. now… well maybe I took too much for granted. I don’t tell you this for sympathy.. god knows that would be a waste of time… but I tell you this because I want you to know that if you want to do something NOW is the time… there is always the unexpected that can happen and take away from what you had hoped to do later in life. 

I seriously doubt I am at deaths door.. I will be pissed if I am… but I do think this is another wake up call for me to slow down.. or maybe FORCE me to slow down.. But Joey I will be damned if I will let myself become infirmed. I want to accomplish thing that few others can even dream of… I refuse to lay down forever and regret not trying at least… that is how I lived my life… make it big and get smacked down.. make it back and more and get bullied over.. make it again.. and find myself divorced and being a full-time dad first and losing most of that fortune.. but I never stop.. NEVER.  

Brandon Mullam (a Irishman) who was studying for his Ph.D. in Demographics when no one heard of that  subject… and I was studying for my Ph.D. at Wharton  , we had a lot of good discussion the kind most people cannot even fathom.. but at that time he said I have enough beat downs that I could spend the rest of my life in Irish pubs telling the stories and getting free drinks. Those stories I decided can also be used to show people how it is never too late to achieve something in life and even more important how never giving up and constantly getting back up and trying  again in different ways is the only way to LIVE a life. as I said the other day I life unlived is a life unfulfilled.  

I believe in YOU Joey.. you have that personality to achieve something others cannot.. and I believe in that other person who I believe can achieve a position of influence in a professional capacity to actually make a difference in this world. The two of you are different.. yet the same.. but definitely different in what I believe each of you can accomplish in this world. 

I have met tens of thousands .. actually MET them. Most are good people who live decent lives. They had potential to be good people and help others make this a better world.. like good neighbors.. then there are people who I feel deep in my soul.. in the very center of my existence that can make this world so much better than just good. People who have a very special something that makes them spectacular.. YOU are one of those People Joey.. and so is that person I tried to be kind to that now thinks of me as some fool. but I still believe.. in BOTH of you.. each with a future that will not be entwined .. but that can have a profound effect on society if both of you allow yourselves to be that individually I see in each of you. 

The one thing about being sick like this is that I feel mortal… and want to say things that if they are my last words that you and others can see for the rest of your lives… I have no intention of dying.. do not really believe I am mortal.. but I am pragmatic… and while this has exhausted me to write.. I feel a bit better having said it… and next month I can feel silly and stupid for making such a big deal of believing in BOTH of you but one thing is for sure.. I never changed my mind on you.. and neither will I change my mind on that other woman. I am firm in my conviction.. 

Hope all is well kiddo… and again happy to see you active again and smiling and apparently happy….

PS If you did not dis me  to her, than I apologize.. and if you did and ever reconsider and maybe say something nice about the real me .. I would be grateful . 

The Life Unlived Is A Life Unfulfilled



Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?”

Langston Hughes



I wish I had met you
when I was younger
when I still chased rainbows
and every day I looked
forward to something new
where my heart hadn’t
been tainted by heartbreak
and trust was something
you gave openly
I wish I had met you then
maybe we could have made it

A brilliant mind, a golden heart!! I Love this writer!