If that means you have broken your slump that I could not be more happy for you. You have so much to accomplish in your life It is disappointing to see you down and frustrating not to be able to reach out to you.. despite having your telephone number I just never wanted to cross that .. what was it someone said a long time ago.. oh yes.. that invisible line.
I have been pretty ill recently… I lay in my bed thinking of all the things I want to say to the world to stop the stupidity I see.. to try to reverse the hatred in this country to bring this country to a more “Civil” union… and then my chest hurts more and I am unable to get out of bed to write or make videos or audio or ANYTHING to make this world better.
I want to present a fully developed business plan to Apple and to Google showing them how while Elon Musk has great ideas, he is too soon in trying to implement his wonderful concepts. I can compare it to those who built HUGE Fiber optic networks in the 90’s only to have the price collapse because of over capacity and better multiplexing equipment meaning allowing more data to be moved over smaller bandwidth. Those bankruptcies allowed others to buy the fiber at literally pennies on the dollar.. and today there is not enough bandwidth. Elon is headed the same direction on several fronts and the buying opportunity will be tremendous for various parts of his enterprise. My Hydrogen refueling is the thing I hope they adopt as it can bring 50 B or more in tax credits and 25B PLUS in profits with a very very very small capital investment, but I just don’t have the energy to eat let alone work .
On a personal note I believe you know of something I did last weekend. I hope you did not disparage me.. but it may have been too easy .. and that is a bit painful for me. I thought it was a nice gesture to that person… but if it was diminished because of my history with this blog I am saddened to my core. I hope I am wrong.. but my gut tells me otherwise. While I want to encourage and inspire you.. I really could have helped that person get to another level in a future life via academia or professional career. they have that level of intelligence that is not stimulated much in their current position despite their efforts at growing they need an intellectual support structure, and whatever you thoughts about me are.. that is probably one of my greatest strengths that I have proven around the world.
I get very frustrated lately… I believe I have so much to offer.. to give.. so many ideas and concepts that I never communicated.. so many like experiences that so few have or will ever have in their life. and even writing this has taken too much out of me. It was a few years ago I was told I had an enlarged heart.. left ventricle.. and it panicked me.. and then I just ignored it.. now… well maybe I took too much for granted. I don’t tell you this for sympathy.. god knows that would be a waste of time… but I tell you this because I want you to know that if you want to do something NOW is the time… there is always the unexpected that can happen and take away from what you had hoped to do later in life.
I seriously doubt I am at deaths door.. I will be pissed if I am… but I do think this is another wake up call for me to slow down.. or maybe FORCE me to slow down.. But Joey I will be damned if I will let myself become infirmed. I want to accomplish thing that few others can even dream of… I refuse to lay down forever and regret not trying at least… that is how I lived my life… make it big and get smacked down.. make it back and more and get bullied over.. make it again.. and find myself divorced and being a full-time dad first and losing most of that fortune.. but I never stop.. NEVER.
Brandon Mullam (a Irishman) who was studying for his Ph.D. in Demographics when no one heard of that subject… and I was studying for my Ph.D. at Wharton , we had a lot of good discussion the kind most people cannot even fathom.. but at that time he said I have enough beat downs that I could spend the rest of my life in Irish pubs telling the stories and getting free drinks. Those stories I decided can also be used to show people how it is never too late to achieve something in life and even more important how never giving up and constantly getting back up and trying again in different ways is the only way to LIVE a life. as I said the other day I life unlived is a life unfulfilled.
I believe in YOU Joey.. you have that personality to achieve something others cannot.. and I believe in that other person who I believe can achieve a position of influence in a professional capacity to actually make a difference in this world. The two of you are different.. yet the same.. but definitely different in what I believe each of you can accomplish in this world.
I have met tens of thousands .. actually MET them. Most are good people who live decent lives. They had potential to be good people and help others make this a better world.. like good neighbors.. then there are people who I feel deep in my soul.. in the very center of my existence that can make this world so much better than just good. People who have a very special something that makes them spectacular.. YOU are one of those People Joey.. and so is that person I tried to be kind to that now thinks of me as some fool. but I still believe.. in BOTH of you.. each with a future that will not be entwined .. but that can have a profound effect on society if both of you allow yourselves to be that individually I see in each of you.
The one thing about being sick like this is that I feel mortal… and want to say things that if they are my last words that you and others can see for the rest of your lives… I have no intention of dying.. do not really believe I am mortal.. but I am pragmatic… and while this has exhausted me to write.. I feel a bit better having said it… and next month I can feel silly and stupid for making such a big deal of believing in BOTH of you but one thing is for sure.. I never changed my mind on you.. and neither will I change my mind on that other woman. I am firm in my conviction..
Hope all is well kiddo… and again happy to see you active again and smiling and apparently happy….
PS If you did not dis me to her, than I apologize.. and if you did and ever reconsider and maybe say something nice about the real me .. I would be grateful .